Barry Silvershiem and Laurie burst through. Barry’s eyes were drawn to the upturned desk and the two ninjas trapped beneath. Laurie’s “Holy shit!” was what pulled his attention to the old lady at the back of the room.

A ripped and torn body, but no blood. “She’s a zombie,” Barry said aloud.

“Zombies have no mind, bar mitzvah buchar,” said Mrs. Axelrod. “They wouldn’t have the sense to do this.” The woman moved with uncanny speed, taking the still-standing ninja’s legs out from under him. His pistol flew from his hand, as he fell. Mrs. Axelrod caught it on the fly. She spun on one foot and aimed the weapon at the now-prone ninja. “I’d much rather taste your blood, but desperate times, as they say-”

Barry saw the wooden cane at his feet. He scooped it up and brought the crook around Monster Axelrod’s wrist. He pulled, but her arm was as strong as a block of cement. Yet he must have had some success, because her shot missed the ninja by several inches.

The ninja rolled and pulled himself up before Monster Axelrod could get off another shot. But, instead of running toward the woman and trying to take her down, he turned and advanced on Barry and Laurie. Barry raised the cane, as if to protect himself, but the ninja bypassed Barry, raced up to Laurie, and grabbed the metal letter opener from her hand. He turned and ran directly for Monster Axelrod.

The monster grinned hideously. She held out her hands, as if welcoming the ninja into her arms. Barry gasped, as the monster’s fingertips sprouted claws, yellow and deadly.

The ninja ran straight into Monster Axelrod’s open arms. “That’s it. Come to Grandma,” she cackled. Barry watched her close her arms around the ninja and dig all ten of her claws deep into his back. At the same time, the ninja raised the letter opener he had taken from Laurie, and plunged it deep into the monster’s eye. It went in smooth and silent and then the ninja gave it an extra push. The letter opener went in to its hilt and the monster slid to the floor, motionless.